i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
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