got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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