unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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