Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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