# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize