So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I came so hard my ears popped.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize