i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I hate all girls vehemently.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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