sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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