508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
