So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize