Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
