they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
