someone threw a dead crab at me
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize