You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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