look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We have so much sex to catch up on
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
