at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
