I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize