I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
