He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
