Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
