They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
