i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize