Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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