I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
