Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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