There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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