I bet he comes in French.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
