We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
