yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
