It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
