he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
