So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize