Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
