she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
