Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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