Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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