I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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