is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
this boner is exhausting
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
