Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize