why didn't you poke me back
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
