You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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