the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Can you bring me the toilet please
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
