i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
