But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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