The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
