are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
