in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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