Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize