And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
