We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
