thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
