Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
