Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
