My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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