hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i think i just lost a toe
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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