just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
