Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
