I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
