dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Is it because I queefed?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize