so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just google imaged poop.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
