I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
