I didn't shave. On purpose
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
