doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
