I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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