You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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