I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize