you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
