Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Your penis caused this!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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