marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
