If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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