I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
