I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also, beer. Big fan.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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