Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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